FIRST DRAFT
I presented my first draft to media students who also do media and was able to get their written feedback.
Summary of feedback
-
Make shots lighter with spell scene
-
Cut down the shot of boy walking through the record store
-
Make the artist look directly into the camera when she performs
-
Get rid of tambourine girl
-
Include sound at the beginning of the video
-
Make storyline clearer
-
Show the connection between the artist and boy
The action I took when given the feedback was to make the decision to get rid of the woods scene because I flt like it was just to fill the empty space and didn't really add to the actual video. I also want to refilm the sene where the artist perfroms as ithe audience felt there was a disconnect with the artist becuase she never looked at the camera, I can also take this opportunity to film in a better location for this shot as it was a last minute find and not the look I was going for. I want to emphasis the fact that the protagonist is a witch to the viewers as some people were confused by the narrative. The feedback will all be taken into consideration; the good points and the suggestions for improvement to allow me to create an effective final draft.
